it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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