Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
