Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Who died my cat blue again?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
