I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
