I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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