You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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