the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
And then he peed in my hair
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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