I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
