how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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