y did u give ur computer a hand job?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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