So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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