It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
