it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
