Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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