Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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