I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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