and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
