So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
