you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
