she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
