we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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