we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
3pm strippers are depressing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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