They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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