why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize