Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
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