All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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