im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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