who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
