no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
