Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My breasts were aching with rage.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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