fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
