I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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