Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
