I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
