I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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