Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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