like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
pray to the hookup gods
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
