I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
