all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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