Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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