my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
