YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
