Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
