Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
