i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
