yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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