What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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