I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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