You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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