Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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