do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
